Wake me up at quittin' time...

Hell to the yeah... vindicated at last. I'm a trend setter, a trail blazer, a true pioneer in employee benefits. I never would have thought my own self serving, don't give a shit attitude would have sparked a revolution. CNN ran a story today on their website on the growing trend of people sleeping at work. (Don't bother CNN with real news like 35 Articles of Impeachment against President Bush being introduced in Congress Monday. By the way, the text of the resolution can be found here.)

The article, though informative, entirely missed the mark. The so-called experts claim people don't get enough sleep at home, so they are nodding off at work. Adults need 6-8 hours of sleep a night. The U.S. is a sleep deprived nation. On the job sleepiness costs the country billions of dollars in lost productivity. Yada, Yada, Yada.

The experts forgot to factor in one important fact.... WORK EFF-ING SUCKS. It's boring, it's tedious, it's time-consuming, it's inconvenient. What better way to pass the time than catching some quality nap time? I'm not a big fan of air travel, so how do I make that five hour cross country flight go faster? Exactly... I sleep. I don't like a movie that I'm dragged to... I'm gonna sleep through it. NASCAR on TV on a Sunday afternoon is a screaming invitation to take a luxurious nap. Get the idea... if I'm bored and need to pass some time I'm sleeping through it. It's what I do well... definitely in my top five life skills.

If my boss expects me to work forty plus hours a week, and I'm not kept entertained for all of that time, I'm going to sleep through the slow times. My employer is gracious enough to provide me with a big comfy chair for my desk, a receptionist to answer my phone calls, and a quiet corner office with a lock. What do they think is going to happen? That's like giving Amy Winehouse heroin and expecting her not to shoot up. I'm certainly not going to waste my free time on sleep. Why not do it at work and get paid for it? Join me people... join the revolution.

Confidence

confidence: noun 1: a feeling or consciousness of one's powers or of reliance on one's circumstances; 2: faith or belief that one will act in a right, proper, or effective way

Merriam-Webster Dictionary

Confidence is a valuable commodity, but it's also an elusive one. It's difficult to acquire, and maybe even more difficult to keep. For me, this has always been a tough subject and generally leaves me asking more questions than finding answers. At times I have it, at times I don't, at times I feel like I'm not capable or worthy of having it. It's a mystery and it's frustrating. Not having it holds me back from having happiness in my life, drawing upon it has allowed me to do some remarkable, rewarding things.

On a lot of occasions, confidence is a delicate balance. It's a razor thin edge between making great strides and falling into a sea of doubt. How can I feel so confident in one area of my life and so helpless and uncertain in others? What keeps confidence in one thing so high, but doesn't allow itself to spill into other aspects of my existence? There are things I'm good at, some things I'm ok at but would like to be better, and many things at which I'm not good at all. Why can't my confidence in my stronger fields help me to improve in the others? Why do I feel that I'll never be able to be good at certain things, but have the confidence to believe I can improve on the things at which I'm marginally capable? Where does my cross-wired mind draw the line when it comes to confidence? Why does confidence slip away so easily? How does it return so quickly at times and painstakingly slowly at others? Is there anything that can be done to secure the confidence I possess? Can I build upon it and make it stronger, or to work toward bringing it back when it eludes me?

In my own case, I think my confidence is directly tied to my current level of self esteem. Being a sufferer of low-grade depression, my self esteem has never been (and likely never will be) very high. At its low points, it plunges any confidence in even my best skills and abilities to low levels. In a situation where I would usually shake off a bad result, I begin to question myself. It's a vicious cycle, as this brings more uncertainty which yields more bad results and ultimately undermines my confidence level. Having little confidence reinforces the lack of self-esteem, the depression deepens and another major episode is initiated. At its mildest of times (like now), my lack of self-esteem holds me back from having the confidence to move forward. It's almost like the confidence that is there is shoring up the self-esteem that is not present. In a period of time of feeling ok, I don't dare risk anything major or sensitive that would shake my confidence and in turn allow the fragile self-esteem I have to vanish. It is a delicate, complicated formula.

So many questions and not many answers about confidence. I wasn't sure how to go about approaching this topic and honestly stopped, erased, and restarted a few times. I was confident that eventually if I stuck to it that I'd come up with something worth posting. Since you're reading this, it should be evident that I'm pleased with the result. Being the perfectionist that I am, if I didn't like it then it would still be sitting in my draft folder for another day. It bothers me that I can't take this confidence in writing to other things, but I'm beginning to understand myself enough that it's not a good place to go right now. No sense in tipping the scales of the favorable mental and emotional balance I have right now... of that I am confident.

Mute Monday: Competition

This is pissing me off

Excuse the language, but it had to be said. It's a great Saturday... the sun is shining, it's warm but not hot, the coffee is delicious, and The Fog has taken an extended absence for now. I'm in an upbeat mood and this won't derail the Bobness Express but...

I just spent 30 minutes washing dishes which just ran through the dishwasher. W-T-F??? I'm not a domestic dude, but I know how to run a freakin' dishwasher. Load the racks, not too full, no plastics on the bottom, fill the detergent dispenser (I'm a Cascade man.... just for the record), crank it up and let it run. Honestly, what could possibly be easier? Ever since moving into this place in California, conquering the challenge of getting clean and sanitary dishes has eluded me. Look at these pitiful results this morning:

It was cleaner before it put it in the dishwasher. I should have put it in the cabinet the way it was, coated with a thin film of bleu chesse dressing, bits of carrot shavings, and a dash of black pepper for accent.

Nice spoon... I should have left the mushroom gravy on it and put it in the drawer.

So not only did I have to load and unload the dishwasher, but then I had to wash, rinse, and dry. Oh the humanity, the trials of Bobness can be quite burdensome. But I trudge along secure in the fact that, although I've lost another 30 minutes in my life to menial chores, I will have cleanliness is next to godliness cutlery and dishware.

Aww look, I can almost see myself. Clean enough to use again! With my tasks for the day now completed, I can go about my weekend work of smoking cigars, surfing the internets for Canadian midget porn, and pondering life's grand mysteries.

The Future of Flying is here.... almost

Derrie-Air took to the skies today rolling out a new concept in fare structure. Based out of Philadelphia International Airport, Derrie-Air features non-stop service to many of the nation's busiest destinations. In a twist on legacy airlines (American, United, etc.) though, Derrie-Air will charge fliers by the pound for themselves and their luggage. "Since the highest variable expense for any airline is jet fuel, and jet fuel usage is directly tied to the amount of weight carried by the aircraft, it only makes sense to explore this approach in pricing," said travel analyst Richard Hertz.

In checking their website, the fare between Philly and Chicago is $1.40 per pound. So, a svelte female tipping the scales at 140 lbs. (115 body weight, 25 luggage/carry-on) would pay $196 while a more portly plumper woman at 215 lbs (180 body weight, 25 luggage/carry-on, 10 in airport Cinnabon bags) would fork over $301. The more traditional freight businesses (over the road trucking, overnight shipping, U.S. Mail, etc.) have charged a base fee per pound for years. Derrie-Air is pushing the envelope and bring the idea to the human market.

(OK folks, if you haven't already figured it out, this is not a real airline. It is a remarkable advertising campaign carried out today by Philadelphia Media Holdings to demonstrate the power of their advertising campaigns. Click the link for the MSNBC Story on the hoax.)

The ironic things about this story are 1) it's totally believable and 2) it makes a lot more sense than the current system. Airlines are trying to reduce weight load all of the time. Why do you think most are charging for a second checked bag (and many will soon start charging for any checked bag)? Luggage=weight=increased fuel burn. Replace "luggage" with "passenger" and the formula still applies. Why shouldn't our portly plumper pay more than our svelte female? Before you get all worked up, I'm not the slimmest of guys so I'd be hit harder than some.

With charges for booking over the phone, curbside check-in, first checked bag, second checked bag, preferred aisle seating, window & aisle surcharges, in flight beverages and food, headphones, reservation change fees, pay toilets, and just about anything else the airlines can think of maybe this makes more sense than people believe. In every joke there is a kernel of truth. So don't be too surprised if Derrie-Air soon begins offering service to an airport near you.