An unsent letter

Hey there, it's me. It has been a long time but I wanted to drop you this note. Congratulations on your business and career. I imagine it has been a whirlwind of meetings, travel, and negotiations for you this past year; but I'm sure things are turning out the way you want them, even if it is not moving along as fast as you'd like.

Oh yeah, I mentioned a year. Did you know the last time I saw you was a year ago? Sure, we traded messages and emails for a while afterward but one year ago this month was the last time we met in person. I know I had a good time and was hoping that there would be many more. That was probably because you said that you'd like to see each other more frequently as well when things slowed down in your life. I understood what you meant by that. Building your business and caring for your children as a single mom was going to be a lot of hard work and hours. I totally got that. I guess my plan of maybe seeing you every other week or a few times a month was a bit off the mark.

I had no inkling that your life would not slow down in one year. Things never slowed down enough for a date. Things never slowed down for a quick glass of wine or coffee on a night when the father had the kids for the week. Things never slowed down for a chat session, racy or otherwise, as we had acquired a habit of having after the kids were in bed. I tried to be patient and understanding. I gave you some space, not wanting you to feel I was pressing too hard. Eventually my messages and emails went unanswered enough times for me to know that no response would be forthcoming.

It would have been ok to say you did not want to see me anymore. Really it would have. To drag things out and keep saying you wish you had the time didn't help me. In fact, it had the opposite effect. On top of missing out on someone I was very attracted to and felt very comfortable around (which is rare), I got the chance to be strung along and figure out myself that I had been mislead. You had always been honest in the past, so I trusted you on this. I don't know if you realize or care that it hurt me a great deal. After moving to California less than six months earlier and meeting someone I really liked so soon, I thought my life had turned around. A new year, a new job and home, and a new, special person to share it with. I thought for the first time in a long time that things were finally going my way and that there was a chance I could be happy. Guess not.

I turn on my messenger every once and a while to see if you'll stop by. You remember, right around 10 pm when you would put the kids to bed, grab a glass of wine for yourself, and pop onto the screen of my laptop. We'd chat sometimes until 2am. Sometimes we'd just catch up with each other, sometimes we'd get a little naughty, and sometimes it was a quick exchange to keep each other company on a chilly night. But I guess one year later life still hasn't slowed down enough for that either. Not even long enough to let me know you got my Happy Thanksgiving message. I hope you are happy with wherever the last 12 fast paced months have taken you. And I do mean that... it's not just a story.

Comments have been turned off for this post. Please respect my choice and don't use any other forum to respond to this. Things will return back to normal with my next post.

Pardon the interruption

Pardon the interruption, just bob isn't all that creative right now. The Dick's in his life (not Dick's Sporting Goods which is great) have brought him down and he's not feeling too funny or entertaining. Not sure when just bob will be back, but he's reading your blogs.

Why

Why do I try to help people who clearly don't want help?
Why do I try to improve a dysfunctional workplace when the people who made it that way don't want it changed?
Why can't I just blend in like the rest, do my job, and punch out at 5:00?
Why can't I just deal with the pessimistic atmosphere that hangs in the air?
Why can't I cope with the stress that the negativity creates?
Why haven't I given up by now?
Why does this have to be so difficult?
Why do I even care when no one else does?

Let the fencing commence

Sometime over the past three days I've been off, there has been some activity with The Fence. A part of the temporary fencing is now being used to secure two portable toilets, a construction crane/lift and four dormant trees.

The remainder of the temporary fencing continues
protecting more temporary fencing.

Nice beginning

I was asleep last night at midnight, like I am the other 364 nights of the year. Then it started. Someone in the neighborhood thought it was a good idea to shoot off some firecrackers to ring in 2009. Annoying, yes... but not really a big deal. I could hear professional fireworks in the distance, and the pop, pop, pop of the amateurs across the parking lot. So I rolled over and went back to sleep.

Then some asshat, who I will find someday, exploded what sounded like a full stick of dynamite. Even with my eyes closed, the flash from the explosion pierced the night and made its way to my pupils. The windows rattled from the compression wave and every car alarm in a five mile radius was triggered. Of course, all the drunken idiots whose car horns were honking and beeping couldn't be bothered to silence them. Either they were too busy partying or thought the wailing of sirens was a nice compliment to the pyrotechnics shows taking place all over.

This nonsense went on for about half an hour before things eventually settled down. I'm guessing the all the fireworks had finally been expended and the car alarms didn't have the same desirable ambiance without explosions. I'm so grateful to have such thoughtful and considerate neighbors. Thanks for the shitty start to another year.