Hopefully the Easter Bunny will visit your homes today.
(I'll have something a little more serious later)
(I'll have something a little more serious later)
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Theme Thursday - Egg
Ever wonder what Humpty Dumpty was doing up on that wall? I mean seriously, if you were an egg wouldn't you be a little bit more careful than sitting atop a high wall? Was he up there trying to get a tan, wanting desperately to be a brown egg?What caused Humpty Dumpty to fall? Obviously he was an oval, so he was more inclined to tumble because of his rotund bottom. Was he knocked over by a strong gust of wind? Was there an earthquake that shook him down?
And why exactly did the king send all of his horses and all of his men to Humpty Dumpty's place? Was he a friend of the king? Or was there something much more sinister going on?
Here's my theory... Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall because he was a peeping tom. He was looking through the window of the neighbor's home, watching the lady of the house in various states of undress. In a fit of rage, the neighbor's husband brandished a firearm and began to shoot at Humpty Dumpty. In an effort to evade the bullets, Humpty Dumpty with his rotund oval bottom lost his balance and took his now famous great fall. The King, now remorseful about shooting at one of his citizens, dispatched all of his horses and all of his men to the scene of the tragic accident. The King knew the public would never stand for this kind of blind violence against the common man, so all of the horses and all of the men concocted an elaborate story about trying to save good old Humpty Dumpty. It was a stroke of genius. The King's spin machine went into action, framing the facts to make it appear the King was distraught about the fate of his neighbor and rallied all of his resources to rescue Humpty. And so it goes... a legend is born.
It was either that, or O.J. did it. Hopefully this cracked you up.
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Friday, April 3, 2009
The Routine
The alarm goes off and the routine starts:
The adrenaline and shock that wakes me up doesn't go away. You know that nervous, jumpy feeling you get when someone yells BOO! behind you? It feels like that but doesn't subside until I'm finally home at night. The coffee is already made, the timer having been set the night before. It's decaffeinated now as I can't drink too much of the regular anymore because of the nerves. About half way through that first cup of decaf, my stomach starts to churn. It's a feeling that can only be described as heartburn in the top of my chest, and Taco Bell's revenge in my colon. The pepto tablets stuffed in my office drawer will take care of that when I get there. I pull into the parking garage at work, my heart rate accelerates and my breathing becomes shallow. I stop to remind myself to take deep, cleansing breaths. I can only imagine how I look to those walking around me, exhaling like a woman going through a painful labor.
Finally at my office, the first thing I do after opening the door is look for a flashing red light on my phone. Any voice mail before 8:30am is never good news. I start my computer, get the coffee started, and pop those two peptos to keep my rumbling stomach silenced. I've switched the office over to half-caffeine coffee. I joke and tell them it's so I can drink twice as much; when in reality it is so I don't spin out of control in a dangerous combination of jumpy nerves and racing heartbeat mixed with a caffeine overdose. The day progresses, some better than others, some worse than average, but rarely ever comfortable or pleasant. I don't leave exactly at 5:01pm, not wanting to give the impression that I'm dying to get out of there. So generally between 5:15-5:30 I'll button things up. "I've had enough fun for the day," I'll tell the folks in the finance department as I lock my office and make my departure.
I can feel my shoulders slump, the tension on them easing and allowing them back to their natural position. The heart rate returns back to semi-normal, only interrupted by the normal aggravation of driving downtown in a large city. It will take hours to unwind once I get home. Occasionally a stress headache will interrupt the process, demanding to be quelled before any other relaxing can take place. Gone thankfully are the days when I would self medicate myself with alcohol to speed things along. Most nights it is a gentle landing, easing into comfort zone to read, watch TV or blog. Some times it is a crash landing; with the weight of the world finally lifted I fall asleep on the couch before 8:00pm. I usually awake in time to set the timer on the coffee maker and go to bed before midnight. Some times peace doesn't come, leaving me to turn restlessly in my bed wishing for any kind of beneficial sleep. On those nights I wash down a Tylenol PM with a glass of milk.
Sleep eventually overtakes me, and another weeknight is over. The alarm goes off and the routine starts anew with the rising of the sun.
The adrenaline and shock that wakes me up doesn't go away. You know that nervous, jumpy feeling you get when someone yells BOO! behind you? It feels like that but doesn't subside until I'm finally home at night. The coffee is already made, the timer having been set the night before. It's decaffeinated now as I can't drink too much of the regular anymore because of the nerves. About half way through that first cup of decaf, my stomach starts to churn. It's a feeling that can only be described as heartburn in the top of my chest, and Taco Bell's revenge in my colon. The pepto tablets stuffed in my office drawer will take care of that when I get there. I pull into the parking garage at work, my heart rate accelerates and my breathing becomes shallow. I stop to remind myself to take deep, cleansing breaths. I can only imagine how I look to those walking around me, exhaling like a woman going through a painful labor.
Finally at my office, the first thing I do after opening the door is look for a flashing red light on my phone. Any voice mail before 8:30am is never good news. I start my computer, get the coffee started, and pop those two peptos to keep my rumbling stomach silenced. I've switched the office over to half-caffeine coffee. I joke and tell them it's so I can drink twice as much; when in reality it is so I don't spin out of control in a dangerous combination of jumpy nerves and racing heartbeat mixed with a caffeine overdose. The day progresses, some better than others, some worse than average, but rarely ever comfortable or pleasant. I don't leave exactly at 5:01pm, not wanting to give the impression that I'm dying to get out of there. So generally between 5:15-5:30 I'll button things up. "I've had enough fun for the day," I'll tell the folks in the finance department as I lock my office and make my departure.
I can feel my shoulders slump, the tension on them easing and allowing them back to their natural position. The heart rate returns back to semi-normal, only interrupted by the normal aggravation of driving downtown in a large city. It will take hours to unwind once I get home. Occasionally a stress headache will interrupt the process, demanding to be quelled before any other relaxing can take place. Gone thankfully are the days when I would self medicate myself with alcohol to speed things along. Most nights it is a gentle landing, easing into comfort zone to read, watch TV or blog. Some times it is a crash landing; with the weight of the world finally lifted I fall asleep on the couch before 8:00pm. I usually awake in time to set the timer on the coffee maker and go to bed before midnight. Some times peace doesn't come, leaving me to turn restlessly in my bed wishing for any kind of beneficial sleep. On those nights I wash down a Tylenol PM with a glass of milk.
Sleep eventually overtakes me, and another weeknight is over. The alarm goes off and the routine starts anew with the rising of the sun.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Theme Thursday - Ten
When 10 came out in 1979, I was 12 years old and just beginning to really notice the fairer sex as more than just girls. Of course at the time I was no where near old enough to actually see this movie, but I vividly remember the commercials and advertisements. Bo Derek was my first celebrity crush as a soon-to-be teenager. She was so gorgeous and the famous running on the beach poster above did nothing to discourage a youngster from wanting to find out more about her and other girls. There would be many other celebrity fascinations as I continued to age, but Bo Derek will always be my first crush. She set the benchmark for what a "10" would be for years to come.
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