Show Me The Money

Show me the money! Sports Illustrated this week came up with the Fortunate 50, the highest earning U.S. athletes in 2007. It didn't really come as a surprise that Eldrick "Tiger" Woods topped the list, but the figure was staggering. For whacking a little white ball around the park, Woods pulled in a whopping $127,902,706. Yes, nearly $128-million dollars.

Doing a little research revealed a few of these savory tidbits:

• The PGA Tour raised $123-million for charity in 2007, or $5-million less than Woods earned individually
  
• Woods would have been the 6th highest paid Major League Baseball team, (just behind the World Champion Boston Red Sox)
• Woods' earnings were higher than all 32 NFL teams payrolls (Washington Redskins 2007 NFL highest payroll $123.4-million)
• America's Second Harvest, the country's largest hunger-relief organization, spent $127-million in 2006 to help in feeding the country's poor and starving
• If all pre-K through 12th grade teachers in the country earned the $40,000 annual starting salary advocated by the NEA, Woods could hire 3,200 new teachers for one year
• In 2007 the annual premium that a health insurer charged an employer for a health plan covering a family of four averaged $12,100. Tiger Woods could provide 10,578 families health insurance for one year
• If Tiger Woods gave each person in the United States one quarter, he would would still have $52-million (plus 3 quarters) left over for himself, his wife and child

I don't point these things out to slam Woods, I do it to question our priorities in this country. How much is enough for playing a game?

Chuck Norris Wouldn't Cry

I can't believe I had a man actually crying in my office today. Now I'm not a heartless bastard, and think under certain circumstances that it's acceptable for a man to express strong emotions, crying included. A death in the family, getting fired, the loss of a loved one, a three run homer to lose the World Series for your favorite team are some of the more valid reasons. Thinking there was beer in the fridge when there wasn't any and going without is close to being ok. A wrecked motorcycle, no matter how expensive, is no reason for a man to cry in front of another man. Chuck Norris would never cry about a motorcycle.

This bawl fest was not coming from some kind of girly-man... this guy was in the military, had seen duty in a war zone, and carries himself with a tough guy persona. And here he is... wailing away about a motorcycle that was totaled in an accident that he was in two days ago. True, he's never going to get the full replacement value from the insurance companies and I'm sure he put a lot of sweat equity into the bike, but this is my office. I am not his friend, I am his employer and supervisor. I care about the people that work for me, but not enough to listen to them break down in my office about an inanimate object that can be replaced. How the hell am I going to get him to calm down? I've had plenty of women crying in my office and while that's not comfortable either at least it's manageable. A hug and a shoulder to cry on usually works in getting them to regain their composure. There is NO WAY I'm giving this guy a hug and a shoulder to get him to chill out.

I do feel bad for him, but for heavens sake man pull it together around another man. Sometimes, being blessed with the "y" chromosome, you need to ask yourself WWCND... What would Chuck Norris do? Chuck would never cry in front of another man about a motorcycle. Chuck likely would have hunted down the person who caused the crash and exacted his own brand of justice and retribution. Then, if the insurance company didn't pay to replace the motorcycle Chuck would hunt down the CEO and exact more justice and retribution. Going into his bosses office (although no one tells Chuck what to do) would not be on Chuck's list of things to do.

Sitting on my side of the desk, I pose the question: WWCND? Chuck may have reached across the desk and slapped some sense into him. It's not like the thought didn't cross my mind. The extended exchange, which was only about 15 minutes but felt like 15 hours, went something like this:

Why is this man crying in my office?
How am I going to get him to stop?
What time does the hockey game start tonight?
I wonder if there's still coffee left in the kitchen?
How would Chuck Norris handle this?
OMG, he's still crying
If I slap some sense into him, like Chuck would do, will I get fired?
Did I remember to defrost something for dinner tonight?
Oh good, he's calming down because I've got to pee like a race horse.

So I sit behind my desk, dutifully listening to this tale of woe, sounding like I'm more sympathetic than I am, and letting him get it out of his system. I felt like Lou Grant listening to Mary Richards drone on and on about something inconsequential. But sometimes, as a boss, that is what you've got to do... act like make what's important to someone else important to you. Even if Chuck is telling you to do something more manly.

One Year (or 365 days) Later...

I moved into my California apartment on June 4, 2007, so the anniversary date is coming up on Wednesday. But since 2008 is a leap year, today is 365 days since I made the big move from the East Coast to the West Coast. So today is one year, but tomorrow is the anniversary. Do I have you thoroughly confused yet? That was the idea. I've got to keep y'all as off kilter as I am.

Anyway, my blog header reflects the life transition over that time. The bridge on the right is the Lenard Zachem Bridge in downtown Boston, MA. It's where this year-long journey began. The bridge on the left as most people can recognize is the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco. It was the destination of the trip, but just the beginning of the adventure. I chose these two images because they "span" two different times in my life and symbolize the still torn nature of my existence. They hold great meaning to me, which is why I've selected to have them both in my sights on a daily basis.

This year has brought many changes. I left a company for whom I had worked for 13 years, leaving the comfort and seniority for a new challenge. Looking back now, things were pretty bad in my life at that moment and the decision to move on was certainly clouded by numerous factors. Taking a rational look now, things could have gotten significantly better after the likely end of a business relationship. The outlook could have improved and things could have been fine. My career change right now isn't exactly wine and roses. It's brought with it a number of challenges, frustrations, and adjustments. I recently told a friend, "I can't say I dislike what I'm doing, but I can't say that I like it either." It doesn't mean I won't grow to appreciate it, but it doesn't rule out another (more rationally thought out) change. I don't dwell on it daily, but at times I regret making the jump. There are no certainties in life, but the biggest of changes right now is still only a 50/50 proposition on whether it was the correct choice.

One thing the move did allow me was the opportunity to pursue the professional goal of attaining the title of Certified Facility Executive (CFE). It's about a year long process and I've completed two of the three steps, the final being the oral interview in July. Many of the people I dearly respect and honor in my industry are CFE's, and the recognition and affirmation from my peers and colleagues means a great deal. It would be an acknowledgement of my accomplishments and contributions to my industry. It means a lot to me, and would will be a highlight of the year.

My health has changed in the past year. I've dropped 20 lbs. during the year, with another 20 lbs. as an achievable target. Those first 20 were the easy ones, the more difficult ones are to come. I stopped taking medication for depression. It doesn't necessarily mean that I don't need it, only that I've chosen to try making a go without it. Some days are good and some are not good but overall I think the benefits of living without the side effects are better for me in the long run. I've also stopped therapy, which I don't think is good for me. I know I should restart, but the dollars are tight right now, even for just the co-pay. I'll have to lean on the work with my former therapist for some time. I find myself to be a lot more emotional now. Actually, to be more correct, I find myself more in touch with my emotions. Buried behind the baggage they've been there the whole time, just repressed and locked away. Now they're at the surface and I'm having to deal with them. I think this new found project of blogging has brought a lot of this about... so I blame all of you! I've significantly reduced my alcohol intake. That's good for both the weight loss and the depression. Next step is cutting back on my weekend cigars. If I can ever find the motivation, I may even dust off that exercise unit currently being used as a storage shelf.

This past year I met an amazing woman (not Shania), who flashed out of my life as quickly as she came into it. I feel like I missed out on a chance at what could have been a lot of sex and happiness. Ultimately she chose her business and career instead of me. I wish sometimes we had never met. The chance to have someone that incredible in my life for the first time was heartbreaking to let slip away. I do think about her and what might have been, but I'm dealing with it the best I can. Yes I do still turn on my instant messenger and hope for a contact, but I've come not to expect one so anything would be the biggest of surprises. I guess I've got to leave that door open just a crack in case she peeks in. Hope springs eternal.

It has been a year of minor successes and painful disappointments. It's been a year of self-enlightenment, frustration, and a few fleeting moments of smiles and laughter. I've taken some steps to improve myself, but in some ways have fallen a few steps back. It hasn't been easy, but the struggle will make me more solid. It isn't going to be easy for a while. The year has also brought this project. Starting as a private handwritten journal in February, it's evolved into this public blog today. I see it as a way to express and record my innermost thoughts, and as a vehicle to play around with my love of creative writing. It helps me everyday, whether it be developing my own work or reading the wildly talented work of many others (even MJ's Filthy Friday).

On this last day of the first year as I devote time to looking back, I can't help but look ahead. You see another person has taken quite a trek of his own in the past year, and tonight became the Democratic nominee to become the President of the United States. Barack Obama is an inspiration to many people. He is the symbol of hope, of positive change, of the type of rebirth that this country so desperately needs. He compels people to look forward to a time when things will be better. Obama can be that kind of leader for this nation. He moves me to personally look forward as well, with an optimistic view of the future. From the Zachem to the Golden Gate, it's been a year full of landmarks along the way. Keep reading and we'll find out together how the next 365 days unfold.

Mute Monday: Beauty

Rachael Ray is a terrorist

I knew it.... I knew it.
Great Allah I knew it.... Rachael Ray is a terrorist. Commrade Rachael slipped up wearing this keffiyeh-like scarf for a recent Dunkin' Donuts advertisement. It obviously was given to her personally by Osama Bin-Laden. Department of Homeland Security (DHS), the great protector of the motherland, seizing this glaring tip-off has done a thorough investigation into the culinary queen and found a pantry full of evidence.

"We must press on, uncovering the terror threat amongst us," DHS Secretary Michael Chertoff commented after being shown the Dunkin Donuts ad. He added, "Ms. Ray is now considered a person of interest and warrants being watched closely." On direct orders DHS, being the investigative geniuses they are, started their search for the truth on the internets. It didn't take them long to find this banner headline on Commrade Rachael's website.

The search was on. Where there is smoke, there's fire! It must be true, America's darling dinner diva means to bring an end to the democracy. Flaunting it over the internets, the brazen hussy. Now spurred on, DHS knew they needed to expand their search.

They dig a little deeper. Gee, this internets thing is cool. I wonder what happens when you click on that photo tab. AHA!!! Eureka, more evidence!!! This must be a terrorist training camp. Look at her followers, brainwashed and mesmorized by her demonstration. Obviously she's instructing this terrorist cell on the best way to affect the nation's food delivery system. How ingenious... substituting anthrax in a pepper mill and spiking the extra virgin olive oil with serin.

There must be more. Not like the flimsy rules in place to hold foreigners at Guantanamo Bay, DHS needed concrete evidence before taking their case to the American public. Afterall, Ray is a multi-media superstar and since she's not on FOX News she can't be a true red, white, and blue American patriot.

This looks innocent enough. What a cutie pie... no wonder everyone loves her. She sure kicks Julia Child's ass in the hotness department. But wait, that's interesting. Check out the heel on those boots she's wearing. It's clearly not made of the same material as the rest of the shoe. A master of espionage, it must be a shoe bomb!!! No one would ever suspect that. How dare she.... hiding an explosive device in her boot and bringing down a jetliner from her cushy first class seat. First the food system, now terror in the sky.

This must be all the proof they need. How could there be any other explanation for all of these things. Keffiyeh scarf + website banner + terrorist training camp + shoe bomb... it all adds up.
RACHAEL RAY IS A TERRORIST.

Having saved the motherland from an obvious threat, the guys at DHS kick back, open up a true American beer PBR, and do a little personal research. Boys being boys, they surfed on over to their favorite website FHM Magazine to grab a little private time. To their great surprise, they stumbled onto more proof of Ray's terrorist leanings. Check out that skirt... obviously an Islamic inspiration to all her male jihad followers. In true DHS fashion, this pictorial was published in 2003 so of course they're five years behind the curve.

The work of a true American patriot is never done. DHS must be ever vigilant in defense of the motherland. Rumor has it some chick named Danica Patrick has been seen recently in Japan around more of that checkered material. Better look more into the next great American female terrorist.