JB and the Brain, Act III

Just Bob (JB): Hey brain you still here?

Brain: I've been here (kinda) the past 10 years waiting for you.

JB: I guessed that. I've been gone too long.

Brain: I know that... Minnesota, North Dakota, Connecticut, Iowa and now Minnesota again. What TF were you thinking?

JB: I've been chasing some peace and a purpose in life.

Brain: And you still haven't found it right?

JB: Nope, I haven't. It's a long story.

Brain: We'll get into a lot of that later. But what is top of your mind now?

JB: Thanksgiving on Thursday, It was always our family holiday

Brain: And this holiday?

JB: Mom is in memory care and kinda remembers me sometimes. My brother, only 60 minutes away, doesn't take the time to see her. Heck, he doesn't take the time to reach out to me.

Brain: That's rough. She's always going to be both your mothers.

JB: And that's why this week is always going to hurt the most. Thanksgiving was OUR holiday.

Brain: go on...

JB: As we grew older, Mom started working most of the holidays. With her seniority, she would always request those days off. Then she would trade them and work for someone who had little children. Christmas and Easter mostly. The double time and a half sure helped out the paycheck too.

Brain: But not Thanksgiving.

JB: Never Thanksgiving. We were always together. Mom setting her alarm to get up and get the turkey in the oven. Some years were leaner than others, but there was always turkey, stuffing, gravy, mashed potatoes, some vegetable, and a pie or two. The good dishes, tablecloth, the whole package.

Brain: Sounds wonderful.

JB: It was. When I eventually moved away, I'd always come back for Thanksgiving. As the years passed by, I would be the one in the kitchen preparing the meal for Mom to rest. It was my way of giving thanks for her.

Brain: And now?

JB: I know it's not her fault, but I struggle a lot not having her "present." The spirit of her is still here, wrapped up in a 90+ year old who doesn't have much memory of anything after she got married and moved away from home.

Brain: And you feel all mixed up...

JB: Yes I do. She's my Mom, but she doesn't remember me. She dedicated her life to raising and caring for me... and now she sometimes feels like a burden to me. The financial hardship, the paperwork and insurance, her deteriorating health, etc. She was always the one I'd turn to looking for advice on managing troubled times. And now she's the center of those times.

Brain: That's a lot to handle on your own. Anything I can help with?

JB: Just get me through this week. Deal with the everyday stuff of life while I try to navigate the shitstorm of emotions.

Brain: Deal buddy. I got you. And don't be so hard on yourself. Okay?

JB: I'll try...

Brain: Remember, there are still things for which to be thankful. You may not see them because of the storm, but they are out there. Once the storm passes, we'll look for them together.